have always had a fear of horses I couldn't explain.
I have gone horseback riding many times in an attempt
to overcome that fear. I always figured that I was intimidated
by them simply because they were so big in comparison
to myself. I couldn't understand why even the most docile
horses would inexplicably react weird around me. On
two occasions, they actually bolted while I was on board,
as though they sensed my fear. Although I wanted to
understand horses, it always took some doing to go horseback
riding. I was forever fighting this fear, but I had
no idea where it came from.
I had a spontaneous past-life recall. I remembered a
time when I was walking down a covered boardwalk in
a small town out west somewhere, perhaps the "old west."
I recall walking on the wooden slats that formed the
sidewalk, and realizing that you had to step down a
good foot into the main street, which was merely a dirt
road through the tiny town I lived in.
was aware that while I was under the overhang in front
of the row of shops, I was out of the hot noonday sun,
and it was a welcomed relief. Still, I needed to cross
the street on the diagonal to greet a man, whom I took
to be my husband at the time. I was wearing a full hooped
skirt with a tight bodice, and I believe I wore a bonnet.
my excitement to cross the street to greet him, I stepped
down off the boardwalk, and was immediately struck down
by a stage coach with a team of six horses. I looked
to my left as I took a step or two into the street,
then realized that it was inevitable that I would be
don't recall hearing the stagecoach approaching, but
I should have been able to; perhaps I assumed that they
were going to stop. I don't know. I don't recall being
hit, but I certainly remember the fear that I felt for
the millisecond before I was trampled to death. I am
sure that the entire team and the stagecoach ran over
spontaneous recall helped me to understand my lingering
fear of horses to this day. I yearn to understand them
but my contact with horses remains remote as I live
in a large city and only see horses on rare occasions.
I still ride occasionally, but to this day I am afraid
of being out of control, since I know just how strong
those animals are.
Posted April 25, 2004