Years ago, when I was about 13 or 14, I was casually watching a ghost-hunter show as I was eating dinner.
The episode took place in a stone castle, either in England or Ireland. The crew went into a cellar where there were huge, dusty pots/vases. I suddenly felt ice cold, and tears came into my eyes for no reason. It's happening again just as I type this...like a profound sadness; a hopelessness.
The view then panned over to the staircase. I knew that staircase. I knew that I had spent years watching it in the dark, waiting for someone to come down and discover me. And I knew that I had been buried under one of the vases, in the dirt floor. I knew that I had been a young woman (as I am now), and I knew that I had at least one child, probably two. I can't quite recall their names, or mine. I also knew that I had been having an affair with a cruel man, and that he had killed me and left me there alone.
I believe that my head was bashed into a wall as he held my hair, and I can somewhat remember leaving my body and watching him strangle me and then bury me. These memories came later, but they feel like truths. I suppose I remember being a ghost more than my actual past life – the emotions were so very intense. I didn't want to "move on" because I never knew what happened to my children. Obviously, at some point, I left. Perhaps someone helped me, or perhaps I saw the spirits of my children once they themselves passed on. I guess I'll never really know.
I do know that I'm crying again, right now, and I haven't even seen an image of this cellar in years. But the vision of it is firmly imprinted in my mind; all I have to do is recall it, and I feel again as if I am desperately waiting for something, after having been murdered and forgotten.
Of course, all of this really freaked me out, because I had never even thought about the concept of past lives – I was just trying to eat my dinner! This whole experience was 10 years ago – I'm 24 now – but it still really affects me. I have poured over every episode of the ghost shows I used to watch, but can't find the one I watched that day.
I have tried to doubt myself, to think that maybe I was just imagining everything, but never before have I suddenly and without a doubt known things to be true. The first thing that came to my mind was "My body is there, under that vase." Nothing like that has ever happened to me, before or since.
Posted: October 5, 2013