my oldest son in September 2006 to suicide; that day my world
came spiraling down. We planned to bring him back to Montana
for burial. As we were traveling in Colorado, we were passing
through the mountains and I remember looking at my cell phone
and noting that there were no bars. I asked my husband why
my son's friends hadn't tried to call yet, since we were making
arrangements while traveling; we wanted his friends to be
pallbearers. My husband said, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll
contact us soon."
my 10-year-old daughter, who was sleeping in the back seat,
sat up and said, "Mom, my brother said Anthony is going to
call you." We figured she had been dreaming and had overheard
our conversation. But then my cell phone rang. I was surprised
because I had just looked at it and seen that there were no
service bars. I answered the phone and it was Anthony! I couldn't
believe my ears.
we talked awhile, I said goodbye to him, and he replied, "Bye
mom, love you." This was significant because my son said this
to me all the time, and his friends didn't know me well enough
to speak so intimately to me; nor had they ever heard my son
say this to me.
into my mother's home in Montana on the first night. My husband
and I were given my niece's room to sleep in. I asked my husband
to leave her TV set on with the volume turned down. It wasn't
connected to cable so there was only a white screen. As he
walked toward the bed, the TV shut off. He turned it on again,
but it did this three times. Finally I told him that if it
did it again, to just turn the overhead light on. This time
it stayed on.
bed was a single and I changed positions frequently so my
husband could be more comfortable. At one point, I turned
from facing the wall to face my husband. When I opened my
eyes, lo and behold, my son was leaning over my husband, having
just kissed him on the forehead. I was stunned and, only for
a minute, scared, so I covered my head up. I lay there thinking,
"What am I afraid of? It's only my son." But when I opened
my eyes, he was gone.
saw him initially, I noted that he was lit up by a luminescent
light from head to toe, as though he was bathed in the moonlight.
Many other experiences occurred later on that let me know
he was with us!
hope, those of you out there struggling with the loss of a
loved one. They are with us and more alive than we could ever
Sept. 27, 2012