had a close bond with my paternal grandmother. We looked alike
and childhood pictures of her could have been mistaken for
me. However, growing up I always sensed a deep sadness, a
sense of resignation in her, and I never knew why she should
feel that way.
When I was 17 years old and had just graduated from high school,
my father took a job in South Korea, so I went with my parents
to live there for a year. When my mother and I said goodbye
to Grandma, she gave us each a handkerchief she had crocheted
and said to us, "I may not see you again." She was
not sick and we dismissed her comment, saying that of course
we would see her again. I believe her soul knew her time was
About three months later in South Korea, my mother got a call
from my father and all she said was "Oh, no!" I
began crying because I "knew" that my grandmother
had died. My mother told me minutes later that I was right.
returned home to New Zealand, I went to college and at the
age of 20, at the insistence of my parents, I married the
guy I was living with. I knew right after the wedding that
it was a mistake, and ten months later I moved out. My mother
disowned me and did not talk to me for four months claiming
that I had not given my marriage a chance. I needed her support,
and so I had a very difficult time dealing with her rejection.
During this time, I had a "visitation" in a dream
from my grandma. She was right there and I could feel her
presence and her love. She spoke to me telepathically and
said that I was doing the right thing in leaving the marriage
and that I would be OK. Her message was very reassuring and
all I wanted to do was hug her. She told me I couldn't hug
her because she was on the other side, that we were in two
different worlds but that it was all going to be OK.
Shortly after having this "dream" I got a letter
from my mother. In her letter she told me how my grandmother
had fallen in love with another man when my father was a young
boy. She was planning to leave my grandfather and had written
him a note saying so. But my grandfather came home early,
found the note and convinced my grandmother not to leave.
So she stayed with him until she died.
understood the deep sadness that I had sensed in her. It came
from the love that she gave up out of a sense of duty. In
my time of need, she came to me to tell me that what I was
doing was OK. She had walked in my shoes but her outcome was
different. My grandma was my Angel when I needed her.
June 12, 2008